Twenty-Seven

Without the need to constantly harvest—without the stress of Sophie’s transfusions or Henry’s collections, without the physical stress of an impending war—Miriam and I had been allowed to slip into somewhat of a normalcy.

Each morning, I awoke to my beautiful succubus wrapped around me, and each night, I fell asleep in her arms. Our days were lazy, spent focused on one another, as if our worlds hadn’t crumbled around us, as if nothing else required our attention. It was blissful, at least while it lasted.

Kinder people than I had cleaned Sophie’s kitchen and Miriam and I sat in it now. She had prepared breakfast, and sometimes when I’d look at her, I’d forget that we hadn’t done this a thousand times, or that I hadn’t used this table in years. It all felt just as it should be.

Miriam sat beautifully in her chair, my robe somehow both dwarfing her and perfectly hugging her form. Her bare legs stretched from under the table, crossed just below the knees, always perfectly poised and gorgeous. She ate, somehow always looking like a dream. Silence had become our morning ritual and I had grown to love sharing it with her.

As my eyes found hers, I realized she was looking at me, though she didn’t seem bothered that she had caught me looking at her. It was perfect, being here with her, as we were. The week had been a dream. Tomorrow, reality would return. I was to be initiated as Archdemon of our precinct, to return to our demonly duties. I chose not to dread it if only to avoid tarnishing what was left of my free time with her.

Miriam took her last bite of toast and sighed with a hum. The silence was broken. She rose with her plate, reaching to tousle my hair as she passed me for the sink. In her absence, her phone vibrated on the table, the screen illuminating with its incoming message.

Your transfer has been finalized.

My heart dropped with my fork, and Miriam turned to face me as it clattered against my plate.

“Collin?”

“Your what?” I could barely form the words, and I wasn’t sure I had even spoken them, but Miriam quickly returned to me. As her hand met my shoulder, I snapped to face her. “Your fucking what?”

“What?” she asked carefully before glancing to her phone. She paled before snatching it from the table, quickly opening the conversation within. Her eyes closed with pause before she returned her attention to me. “Oh, Col.”

I stood, adrenaline filling me as panic overtook my mind. “You can’t,” I insisted, but instead of arguing, Miriam just took my seat. She took a deep breath, folding her hands in her lap before returning her gaze to me.

“I wanted to wait until after your inauguration to discuss it with you,” she admitted, and my face flushed with still more secrecy.

“You did this?” I asked incredulously, my heart aching. My mind could barely construct thoughts as it raced with questions and doubt and insecurity.

“Collin,” she began gently, reaching for my hand, but I refused, instead moving to pace the kitchen. Miriam sighed, but continued from the chair. “I didn’t know they were going to spring this on me so soon. I thought we had plenty of time to discuss it. I didn’t want to stress you out before your big day.”

I had no words to answer her. My ears were hot, my stomach aching with the week of lies we had shared.

“When Jinn was transported, they had so many questions about Leviathan. We met to discuss it and the council listened to my ideas for what good Leviathan could do if in other hands. They’re transferring me to run an authorized research program for Leviathan in China, to hopefully bring some good from all of this mess.” Miriam straightened in her chair, but her head bowed, eyes looking up to me instead of meeting mine directly. “Collin, I have to.”

“Fuck you,” I breathed as I leaned back against the cabinet. “I need you.” I slid to the floor, unable to comprehend her selfishness. “You expect me to become Archdemon and just, what? Do it on my own? No fucking way. Fuck you, I won’t do it.”

“Collin,” Miriam choked, waver in her voice. “Please don’t do this. They need you. There is no better time for the communities to coexist, and you and Lily have an incredible opportunity to work together now.”

I closed my eyes as I leaned my head back against the cabinet door. “I thought we were better,” I managed, my heart sinking further with each understanding look from her. Miriam came to me, kneeling in the floor to embrace me.

“It isn’t about us,” she promised, pressing her sweet lips to my forehead as she cradled my head against her. Her heart thudded loudly in her chest and I wondered if she had even given a second thought to leaving me.

“I can’t live without you.”

“You can,” she assured me, her hair soft as it veiled my face from above. “You’re so much stronger than you think you are.”

“I’m not,” I admitted, but she kissed me.

When she broke from me, her eyes welled with tears. “Oh, love, but you are,” she breathed before she began sobbing. When I reached for her, she fell into me, and together we sat, cradling one another on the kitchen floor in our desperation. How could they do this to us now?


Dawn illuminated Sophie’s quiet home and as I paced the living room alone, I missed her. The suit Miriam had chosen me was stiff and too tight around the shoulders, but I couldn’t bear the thought of not having her with me today.

Lily emerged from Sophie’s bedroom, hesitation in her step. “Well, asshole,” she mumbled, her eyes focused on the hall mirror before turning to me. “Do I look okay?”

I eyed my friend too carefully, intentionally making her squirm before I rolled my eyes. “Of course you do. You’ll do great today.” My hands shoved into my jacket pockets and I struggled for a speech I had decided not to prepare.

“What about you?” she asked, looking me over, her smirk making me feel more self-conscious in the already-foreign suit. “Today’s the big day. Excited?”

“What, to replace a dead man?” I felt for my tie, blindly assessing if it was straight. “Hardly.”

“I fucking hate pomp,” Lily growled a she again turned to the mirror.

“You can’t say ‘fuck’ around kids, you know,” I teased and Lily snarled.

“Oh fuck off. I won’t.”

I moved to the hallway and hugged my friend, and though she resisted, she inevitably gave in, and we embraced one another there. “You’re going to be a great community leader, Lil. They couldn’t have picked a better one.”

“Ugh,” she resisted, retching as she shoved me from her. “Don’t get all mushy on me, asshole. I’m nervous enough.”

“Are you ready?” I glanced in the mirror as I shifted my jacket before returning my attention to my friend.

“Fuck no.”

“Great. Let’s go.”

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She had prepared breakfast, and sometimes when I’d look at her, I’d forget that we hadn’t done this a thousand times, or that I hadn’t used this table in years. It all felt just as it should be.

Fuck, right in my fucking heart. The acknowledgement of he and Mir in tandem with he and Sophie is just tragic but also perfect and sits so well in my heart. I love Col so much right now. He truly went from being a wine bag to a piece of work. A beautiful piece of work. He’s great. Can’t tell you that has nothing to do with the overflowing love for Mir and her love for him, but his redemption was just, beautiful and I love him. I love the image of him sitting at this table in my mind. He looks so regal and beautiful, and I believe because I see him happy for the very first time. What a perfect mental image here at the end.

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Miriam sat beautifully in her chair, my robe somehow both dwarfing her and perfectly hugging her form. Her bare legs stretched from under the table, crossed just below the knees, always perfectly poised and gorgeous.

She is gorgeous <3

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Tomorrow, reality would return. I was to be initiated as Archdemon of our precinct, to return to our demonly duties. I chose not to dread it if only to avoid tarnishing what was left of my free time with her.

Oh yeah, that whole Archdemon thing. <3 I love that for him. He’s going to be a great leader. And I love that for us. It’s so satisfying for him to go from being this bitter af incubus to this leader of sorts. He’s experienced so much growth, and I love him and am so proud of him.

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Your transfer has been finalized.

What the actual, literal FUCK are you fixing to do to me?

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I had no words to answer her. My ears were hot, my stomach aching with the week of lies we had shared.

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WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME RIGHT NOW! YOU HAVE TAKEN ME FROM MY HIGH MOUNTIAIN OF HAPPINESS AND PLUNGED ME STRAIGHT INTO A FUCKING MUD PUDDLE OF LIES AND DISPAIR! I’M SO ANGRY WITH YOU RIGHT NOW! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!? HUH?!

Reading on in hopes that you are going to right this wrong. God help you if you do not.

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“Fuck you,” I breathed as I leaned back against the cabinet. “I need you.” I slid to the floor, unable to comprehend her selfishness. “You expect me to become Archdemon and just, what? Do it on my own? No fucking way. Fuck you, I won’t do it.”

I whole-fucking-heartedly agree with the first part of this statement, but no the last. Col, you CAN do it on your own. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT HE SHOULD FUCKING HAVE TO! ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS MIR?! CHINA!? WHO GIVES A FUCK! LET SOMEONE ELSE RUN THAT SHIT AND YOU STAY WITH COL WHERE YOU TWO HAVE A PERFECT GIVE AND TAKE OF GLOW AND A PERFECT WORLD YOU’VE BUILT TOGETHER.

He deserves you, Mir . . . . . . . . . . he fucking deserves happiness after all of this, and so do you.

I’m so mad at her. I loved her so much. The fucking betrayal. Worse than John Marston’s death. Way worse.

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Her heart thudded loudly in her chest and I wondered if she had even given a second thought to leaving me.

Fucking same, Col. I’m sitting over here ready to rescind all of my chastising about you not trusting her. Fuck. What the actual fuck?

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she fell into me, and together we sat, cradling one another on the kitchen floor in our desperation.

They always find themselves justly crying in the floor holding each other. Never more so than now.

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Lily emerged from Sophie’s bedroom, hesitation in her step. “Well, asshole,” she mumbled, her eyes focused on the hall mirror before turning to me. “Do I look okay?”

<3 I love her. But I want you to know, this doesn’t fix it.

You literally cannot do this to me. If this is truly the last chapter, you cannot do this. There’s no way. This is a great ending, but it’s not the one I want. I want him to have Mir at his side. I don’t want this. I can’t take this. I understand why it’s this way, but I want you to know I’m fighting it every step of the way. I understand it, but I don’t agree.

I’m so heartbroken.

I know their lives aren’t normal and they can’t really have normalcy, but fuck, I can’t with this.

I’m just . . . .

There better be a sequel.

There better be a fucking sequel.

Fuck.