Three.v2

I found myself again in a dingy apartment, on a smelly couch, in a dark room. This time, though, I had company.

“Is he married?” Miriam asked softly as we waited. Long gone were my days of contemplative silence, waiting for a mark to appear. She always had some unnecessary question about something.

“I don't know,” I snapped. “Do you always need them to be married?”

Miriam fell silent. I was tired of her trying to assuage the guilt of our curse like she did when she went out, specifically seeking those interested in extramarital comfort, or men trying to pick up too-drunk women. She could never just do what we had to do.

I had been preparing Miriam to collect debts for a few weeks now, and tonight, for the first time, she’d accompanied me. Part of me was hoping it would be an easy one, for her sake. The other part of me, though, wanted her to be in over her head for once.

After what seemed like ages of discomfort between us, the doorknob rattled, a key sliding loudly into the lock. I stood, prepared for the worst, and I hoped Miriam had enough sense to stay out of the way. This time, the uncertainty didn’t feel at all exciting.

A silhouette appeared in the doorway. It reached to flick on the light and went deer-in-headlights as he saw us. I quickly closed the gap between us and pushed the door shut, eliminating a run.

The guy dropped his keys as he put his arms in the air. “Don’t hurt me!” He begged, and I shook my head, extending a hand to him.

“We just have business,” I assured him, unwilling to take my eyes off him to check on Miriam. “We’re here about your loan. Mr. Thomas, right?”

When he didn't answer, I continued. “I’m Collin. This is Miriam,” I gestured to her, finally looking her direction for a moment. She was fine, calculated, beautiful as she ever was. She stood warmly where I’d left her.

“Hello,” she offered gingerly, moving to take her place next to me. “I remember you.”

The man’s defenses fell immediately at Miriam’s approach. “Y-yes,” he stammered, beginning to regain himself. “The loan, of course.”

“We were just wondering if you had received our final notice,” she asked, almost flirtatiously, before I could get a word in. She crossed her legs at her ankles, her hands clasped behind her back. If he made any sort of move toward her, she’d be done for. I felt my annoyance with her grow with my concern.

“Yes,” the man admitted eagerly. I was dumbfounded. No one ever readily admitted to receiving the notice. “Yes, I'm so sorry for not calling.” He was speaking only to her now, seemingly oblivious to my presence.

“Well,” she began, taking a sultry step towards the man. I leaned back against the door. What was she up to? “There’s the nasty matter of payment.”

The man moved away from us, disappearing into his hallway. I started to follow, but Miriam quickly put her hand to my chest without looking at me. “Wait,” she insisted gently, and sure enough, the man reemerged.

“I’m sorry,” he insisted again, now presenting a bank bag and his red notice. “I actually just got some inheritance finalized. Can I pay you in cash?”

“Of course,” Miriam answered sweetly, following the man to his kitchen countertop where he proceeded to count out the cash to her. “That’s it!” She finally proclaimed, and I watched as she touched the client’s wrist for a bit longer than she should. “Please keep us in mind for any of your future financial needs.”

“Of-of course,” he had lost himself again, but now in her.

“Are you ready?” She asked me, smiling.

I opened the door in response, holding it open for her and closing it behind us. She was a natural.

“Not all of them are like that,” I insisted as we exited the building, onto the street.

“Okay.”

“Henry will be mad there wasn't a harvest.”

Miriam stopped and turned to me with an incredulous look. “Do you still harvest even when they can pay you?”

“No.” I continued my pace without her. “But it doesn’t mean Henry won’t be mad.”


Indeed, Henry was visibly disappointed when Miriam dropped the cash on his desk. You could practically see him ticking off the unharvested glow equivalent in his head.

“How was she?” He finally asked me, seemingly refusing to look directly at his assistant.

“He was tripping over himself to pay her,” I responded, flopping into my usual chair. “And I have a feeling we’re going to have a repeat with him.”

“Wonderful,” Henry admitted, eyeing Miriam now. “Good job.”

“Thank you,” she flashed an excited smile at me. She glanced at her watch. “Do you want me to run it by the bank on my way to the restaurant?”

“What, are we keeping you?” I prodded. This job was going to take a lot of her time. Time she currently spent in her ever-active social life.

“I have a date,” she defended, and Henry sighed.

“You have paperwork,” he rolled his eyes. He was undoubtedly spoiled by my being available nearly all the time.

“Oh,” she responded, seemingly embarrassed. “Right, sorry. I'll cancel.”

“Wouldn’t want to keep you,” I snapped as I got up from the chair. “I’ll be in my office.” I ignored Miriam as I left the room, instead turning into the first office on the left in the hallway. I flicked the light on and closed the heavy door behind me, finally able to breathe a sigh of relief for the distance from her.

My large window revealed the clear, nearly star-less night sky, making it seem much later than the actual 10 pm. I relaxed into my desk chair. My laptop booted upon opening, and I was immediately greeted with my spreadsheet of loans, collections, and final notices. I opened the client’s file and began typing up my report.

Only a few sentences in though, I found myself dialing my house from my desk. The phone rang several times before an unfamiliar voice answered.

“Hi, this is Collin. I’m checking on Sophie. I won’t be coming by tonight.”

It panged me to stay away, but Henry would want a harvest before I went home; cash didn’t keep him young. I would have to hit another debt, even with Sophie doing worse by the day. Thankfully, she wouldn’t notice my absence; her lucidity had left her the night she had asked to be let go. Her days were now spent crying and pleading for the return of a past she never had, mourning a love she never experienced.

The nurse was kind but chatty. She briefed me on the difficulties with Sophie that day, resulting in her being sedated to sleep. I found myself rubbing my eyes by the end of the conversation, more stressed than before I had called.

Almost immediately after hanging up with the carer, my door opened and Miriam entered, leaning back against the door as she closed it. She paused, as if waiting for a response. When she got none, she took a thoughtful breath.

“Do you hate me?” She asked simply, flatly.

I rolled my eyes, returning my attention to my report. “You’re being dramatic.”

“You’ve been making comments for weeks. Do you just not want to work together?”

“You don’t have your priorities in order,” I growled at her, exhausted with her constantly checking her watch, staying out all hours, and arriving to work refreshed and excited when I felt stressed and perpetually exhausted.

She took a deep breath before approaching my desk and sitting straight-backed in the chair across from me. “Do you feel my going out negatively impacts my work performance?” Her tone was so careful, it almost didn’t sound like bait.

“I’ve said what I had to say,” I replied simply, continuing to avoid looking at her.

“Do you never go out?”

“Not with married men, every night,” I found myself instigating again.

“You wouldn't need to,” she quipped, her tone finally betraying how she must have felt. “You harvest nearly daily for work. I don’t. I must harvest at night. Nearly every night, if I want to look like I do.”

I felt guilty then. I understood what she was but had taken for granted that glow wasn’t something I had to scout for anymore. Every week, Henry gave me a list of names and addresses, and it all just sort of came together. It was nothing like it used to be, where I would have to trick unsuspecting victims into giving me precious years of their life to sustain myself. But even then, I hadn’t had to do so daily. I didn’t care about changing my appearance, as Miriam apparently had. I just used glow for sustenance and healing. But still—what made her so vain?

“Then maybe you don’t need to look like that,” I retorted, frustrated at our conversation. I didn’t need this now.

“Maybe I shouldn’t,” she snapped back at me, standing. I looked up to see her eyes watering through her anger. “But you never seem to have an issue with it when your dick’s in my mouth.”

She turned on her heel and stormed out, the door closing heavily behind her.

I rolled my eyes. It was so wasteful to use glow for cosmetic alteration. Hell, Henry’s whole operation was conceived and executed on his desperation for regular, extravagant transfers to be the man he felt he should be.

I guess I was lucky to not be wrapped up in that; no vanity to dictate my every move. I didn’t have to date skeevy men for guilt-free harvests, nor attach to a machine daily to keep from aging. I didn’t have to fight the natural way of things. All-in-all, I had it okay.

But damn, how I missed Sophie. I wanted to go home and vent and rest, but I knew she, my Sophie, wouldn’t be there. My greatest friend, who always ensured dinner was on the table, no matter what hour I came home; who would sacrifice sleep to listen to my day’s frustrations; who drew me baths, made me drinks, and kept my cigarettes stocked above the fridge, even though she hated them; who stood by me through my secrecy and deceit, until finally, after decades together, when her own struggle with vanity caused her to question why she aged while I didn’t seem to. Only then had she ever questioned me, and only then did I tell her the truth of who I was.

After that, she didn’t pry again. She didn’t ask why or when or how, or even who I was before her. She lived on my every word, and when I told her I was immortal—a demon, even—she accepted it as fact, despite it going against everything she knew in her world to be true.

When I began to lose Sophie, I had Lily, always reliable when I needed an emotionless conversation. She never got caught up in tone or slights like Miriam. She was never greedy or control-driven like Henry. She was relaxed, deliberate, and powerful, with or without the validation of others. I had admired her for it.

Now who did I have? Henry? Miriam? The nurses that think I am their patient’s grandchild? I had gotten too sucked into having relationships. I was better off before, when I stayed in the shadows until I was summoned. I had just forgotten. The grass is always greener.

A ping from my computer brought me back to reality. An e-mail at this time of night? I opened my minimized browser to see the bolded message at the top of the list. It was from Miriam—Attached: Thomas Paperwork. And sure enough:


Henry,

Please find attached the paperwork on J. Thomas, debt paid. I’ve cc’d Collin for his records.

                                   -Miriam


Attached, indeed, was a full-fledged report of Thomas’s debt and repayment history, including a log of the events that had unfolded less than an hour ago, with his new status at the bottom: Approved to Borrow.

Guilt knotted my stomach, my write up of the report still weak and incomplete. I closed the file, then the laptop. I needed to get back out. There were more debts to collect and no one to collect them but me.


The moon was high when I reached the small, dilapidating duplex where my next mark resided. I knocked on the screen door three times in quick succession, expecting it would take quite a bit of noise to rouse the occupant at this hour. Instead, lights came on in the second half of the house, the door to which was just to the right of the door on which I knocked. The two were separated only by a small gap between their identical, squared, concrete porches.

“Who is it?” a voice asked too casually, seemingly unaware of the hour. Before I could respond, the door opened slightly, kept closed only by a chain. I had broken many of those in my time with Henry. A tall but young-looking girl’s face appeared in the crack.

“I’m looking for a Mr. Urchin,” I told the girl. “Does he live here?” I gestured to the door in front of which I stood.

“No,” the girl shook her head, closing her door quickly, only to reopen it without the chain. “He lived here. That one’s always been empty.”

Lived. Great. “Do you know where I can find him?” I stepped over the gap between the two porches, now on the opposite side of the screen from the girl.

“He died,” she confessed, little emotion in her voice. “But he was my dad. Maybe I can help you.” She opened the screen door for me, and I stepped inside, sizing up the meager possessions in the otherwise tidy living room.

“How old are you?” I asked without looking at her. Instead, I eyed a cabinet with a lock in the corner.

“Sixteen,” she answered curtly, undoubtedly watching me.

“Is your mom home?”

“There’s no one else,” she admitted, a slight hesitation in her voice. “It was just me and my dad. Now it’s just me.”

I turned to face her, hoping she was wrong. Debts defaulted to the next of kin, whomever they may be, and Henry was never squeamish about taking a child’s inheritance if another relative didn’t offer to pony up. “No one? Not a grandparent? An older sibling? An uncle?”

Sixteen. She hadn’t even started her life yet and her dad had left her with enough debt to ruin it. Really lived up to his name, I cursed through clenched jaw.

She shook her head again, obviously growing uncomfortable. “It was only ever the two of us.” She crossed her arms suddenly as she backed toward a rocking chair and sat. “Why, what did he do?”

“May I sit?” I gestured toward the adjacent couch, taking a seat only when she nodded. “It’s just that he’s defaulted on a debt. I guess now we know why,” I managed a chuckle before realizing the matter probably wasn’t funny to the debtor’s surviving daughter. I stopped myself and we sat in silence.

I tried to force myself to size up the teen, my next supposed mark, but I kept getting caught in her naïve eyes. Something about her made her feel so familiar. Perhaps I had encountered a relative of hers once. Maybe even her father. Perhaps she just reminded me of what it was like to be human, vulnerable and too-reliant on others for survival.

It was the girl who broke our silence, unfazed by me still.

“You never would have gotten it. He never paid anyone back.” She shook her head, seeming to relax with me now seated. “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any money. He gambled our last penny before they killed him for it.”

“I’m sorry,” I finally managed, embarrassed I hadn’t said so sooner.

“I’m not.” She gestured at the room, which I now realized was absent of even a TV. “He never did anything but take from me. He doesn’t get to do that anymore.”

If only that were true. My gut clenched as I dreaded this. I hadn’t thought twice about a harvest in a long time, but this one? Our contract wasn’t with this girl. I could hardly be expected to harvest from a child.

“What does he owe you?” she finally asked.

When I broke the number to her, she paled, her jaw clenched. She had clearly seen none of it. “Or 30 years.”

“30 years? What does that mean?” she asked, cocking her head. “Like, jail?”

“No,” I insisted without an explanation. “Just…look, are you sure there’s no one else? I’d be more than happy to take it up with them.”

“There’s no one,” she shrugged again, and I believed her. It was going to be her.

I got up suddenly and rushed through the house, desperately rifling through her drawers and cabinets. If I could find something of value, anything, maybe I could avoid this all together. I’d have to rationalize the hell out of it, and Henry would be fuming, but maybe I could pull it off.

“Hey!” she demanded, following me. “There’s no money,” she insisted, stopping me as I entered her bedroom, barren save for a mattress on the floor and a phone charger plugged into the wall. “You’ve got to believe me.”

I got caught in her familiarity once again, guilt tugging heavily at my heart. “I do,” I admitted, but what was I supposed to do now?

“So, what do I do?” she asked quietly.

My mind raced to find a loophole that didn’t exist. Henry’s contracts were bulletproof. Debts shift to the next of kin. In the rare occurrence where a debt shifted to a minor, Henry had never made an exception.

Start at the inheritance, I heard him praise in my memory, the way he always did a new way to make an extra dollar. If there’s no cash, we’ll repossess the kid. Surely an uncle, an auntie will intervene so little Timmy can live…at a premium, of course. My chest continued to tighten. And if there was no one to intervene? It had yet to come up. I couldn’t bear the thought.

“Don’t let strangers into your home,” I chastised, pulling from her room as I made my way to the front door. “And don’t make debts you can’t repay.”

I left without looking back, the screen door clattering loudly behind me. Regardless of the rules, I wasn’t collecting from this kid.

I had to get this one swept under the rug, fast.

Quote :

I found myself again in a dingy apartment, on a smelly couch, in a dark room. This time, though, I had company.

Love this callback to the first chapter. Great way to open the chapter after you left us in concern in chapter two in the absence of Mir and Col alone with Henry!

Quote :

“I don't know,” I snapped. “Do you always need them to be married?”

Listen, she asked SOFTLY, okay? Why are you being this way? Oh yeah, I forgot, we’re back at the beginning with old Col. Ugh, you’re so obnoxious. Why do I love you?

Quote :

 I was tired of her trying to assuage the guilt of our curse like she did when she went out, specifically seeking those interested in extramarital comfort, or men trying to pick up too-drunk women. She could never just do what we had to do.

LOL Col. I don’t think there is a fucking paragraph in this book that screams “I’M A MAN!” more than this one does. She’s a fucking woman, Col. A woman. Do you know what that means? No, you don’t. You’ve only ever taken advantage of the women who loved you then discarded your feelings like a cheap paper cup at a child’s birthday party. I love this, but also, I hate this for him. We got to see so much of his compassion in the last chapter, and we sympathized. Now, here he is blowing it because he can’t handle his self-loathing over guilt that he has yet to resolve, and poor Mir, she takes it like a fucking queen despite how it hurts her.

You sound stupid, Col. Stupid.

Quote :

The other part of me, though, wanted her to be in over her head for once.

Ugh, I love this. Just got done ranting about him and his self-loathing and taking it out his insecurities on Mir. Then, he goes and says this gem of a line, and we’re like, yeah. Just look at you. Look at you being all hypercritical and insecure. Shut up, Col. Just shut up. You’re the one that suggested this, aren’t you? Just teach her and don’t criticize whatever moral/amoral values she has to clutch onto to be comfortable with doing this shit.

Quote :

After what seemed like ages of discomfort between us . . . This time, the uncertainty didn’t feel at all exciting.

This is such a dynamic paragraph. I love how uncomfortable he is with her in this situation, and how he expresses it, then ends the moment by commenting how the excitement is gone. We might ask how he feel discomfort here, considering she has literally been blowing him since her time as the secretary. We know what’s about to take place, so we question that, but if we think a tad harder into it, it could be said that his discomfort comes from the fact that he has sort of a thing for her, though he has yet to claim so. He lashes out on her with these stupid comments, and we can argue that’s because he feels safe enough with her to express his emotions, whatever they are. But also, we might can infer that he does this partially because he likes her. It’s kind of like the dynamic between young boys and girls. The boys tend to pick on the girls they like, right?

So, we can read a metric shit ton into this line about discomfort. The last line is what I’m getting hung up on. Is the excitement gone because she is there and he is uncomfortable with her in this sexual situation because he LIKES her? Or will it cramp his style to act like an animal in front of her? I’m going with the former. He doesn’t want to see her fucking someone else. You know why? BECAUSE HE LIKES HER!

Quote :

I quickly closed the gap between us and pushed the door shut, eliminating a run.

This made my brows jump because I found it super attractive. Oh Col, how can you make me hate/love you within the same 250 words? What a man. Close that fucking gap, that fucking door, and be super cool in front of Mir by being a valiant man. I love that for her, and for me. <3

Quote :

“Hello,” she offered gingerly, moving to take her place next to me. “I remember you.”

UGH! I sense that Col is fixing to get super upset. He is such a fucking enigma, but not really. Like, his motives for being the way he is with her fit so easily into such a tiny box, but goddamn, does it raise brows when he acts out against her. But listen to her. Look at her. She is so beautiful and perfect. She is perfect for this job. Perfect for Col. Perfect in every way. Part of me can’t help but wonder if he also envies her ability to not be so fucking miserable like him in lieu of this curse. I mean, that is very much a possibility with him. He is so resentful and laden with guilt, I could see him being envious of her seemingly unfazed by the same curse. We know she isn’t, but he is very much just looking at her on the surface at the moment.

Quote :

She crossed her legs at her ankles, her hands clasped behind her back. If he made any sort of move toward her, she’d be done for. I felt my annoyance with her grow with my concern.

This literally made me chuckle. Like come on, Col. She has a different approach to this. She’s using what assets she has to coax this man into paying up. We realize that you can’t use the same tactics, or can you? But also, I see your point Col, and that’s why I’m giggling right now. I still don’t see that being a worry, and it’s just more of your frustration being projected onto her in this situation. I love that for you tho.

Quote :

“Well,” she began, taking a sultry step towards the man. I leaned back against the door. What was she up to? “There’s the nasty matter of payment.”

What a beautiful moment. OMG. I’m dying over it. We see her doing her thing. Through Col’s eyes we might see her as inept, but damn, is she not. I’m dying at the imagery of her coercing this man into his admission of the notice, into paying, and Col just leans against the door watching. He spends all this time putting her down in his head for how she’s acting, then he just succumbs to watching it. It’s both hot, and hilarious. He knows just what she’s up to, and he’s caught up in the act as well. He doesn’t seem to notice, and that’s what makes this moment so perfect  <3

Quote :

I opened the door in response, holding it open for her and closing it behind us. She was a natural.

“Not all of them are like that,” I insisted as we exited the building, onto the street.

This is just as hot if not hotter than him leaning against the door watching her work. I mean, fuck. She does this whole sultry act, gets the man to pay up, then Col just holds the door for he’s her fucking body guard, but bodyguard in the way that Whitney Houston has to lament about always loving him kind of bodyguard. (PS. Never seen that movie). I love this though. I love the idea of him being just as struck by this as I am by him being struck by her. Then, he as to project his insecurity and let her know that this isn’t the norm, and I remember that she’s unbothered by his comment. Just <3 I can’t describe how hot it is in my head. I’m loving it. LOVING IT!

Quote :

“No.” I continued my pace without her. “But it doesn’t mean Henry won’t be mad.”


Indeed, Henry was visibly disappointed when Miriam dropped the cash on his desk. You could practically see him ticking off the unharvested glow equivalent in his head.

Not me chuckling again at this beautiful transition. I love Col’s insistence in this scene, and I adore that it comes from somewhere where he isn’t fucking bitter with her. It’s like he’s saying these things because he is struck by what she’s done, and struck with her in general. He actually seems to find it amusing. It’s like a little moment of comedic relief, then she drops the money on Henry’s desk and I can literally see his fucking face! It’s just a perfect transition, and a beautiful moment where he is suspended from his raw mentality over himself and women. I adore this moment. It’s hilarious but also heartwarming.

Quote :

You could practically see him ticking off the unharvested glow equivalent in his head.

I know I quoted this with the above, but I just love how this paints Henry. It is literally Henry wrapped up in one sentence. One genius sentence. <3

Quote :

“You have paperwork,” he rolled his eyes. He was undoubtedly spoiled by my being available nearly all the time.

I’m laughing at this right now. I fucking love this son of a bitch. Look at them, ganging up on her. Col you better stahp being a bitch right now, but also, Henry it’s okay if you are because you just are. And it made me cackle because it was actually really funny despite them being assholes. Just the imagery of him rolling his fucking eyes like, “Sheesh, get a grip girl. You can’t just go gallivanting on dates now that you aren’t just a secretary.” I love that. But, shut up, Col.

Quote :

I flicked the light on and closed the heavy door behind me, finally able to breathe a sigh of relief for the distance from her.

Wouldn’t want to keep you, MEEHHHHHHH.
That’s me mocking him. *Rolls eyes. Shut up, Col.
Then he has the audacity to comment needing distance from her. Yeah, I bet you fucking do. You need distance from a beautiful, strong woman who could literally have her pick of the litter. Pull it together Col, don’t start bullying her again just cause Henry is here and you’re so insecure. Sheesh.

Quote :

cash didn’t keep him young.

<3

Quote :

The nurse was kind but chatty. She briefed me on the difficulties with Sophie that day, resulting in her being sedated to sleep. I found myself rubbing my eyes by the end of the conversation, more stressed than before I had called.

This is so relatable. We’ve all been in this situation, and it makes you feel guilty in and of itself. Of course, this is a heavy burden for him, and that’s nothing to scoff at. It feels selfish on the surface, but it is an honest feeling I believe we all feel in situations like this. And we’re getting his inner dialogue, obviously, so it’s nice to get this realism that allows us to further relate to him.

Quote :

She paused, as if waiting for a response. When she got none, she took a thoughtful breath.

“Do you hate me?” She asked simply, flatly.

Ugh, not me giggling again. I swear to god, Mir, I understand, but pull it together. You know he’s an ass. He doesn’t hate you, that much is obvs. He’s just bitter af. I love this though. Their dynamic is so unstable but so endearing.

Quote :

“You don’t have your priorities in order,” I growled at her, exhausted with her constantly checking her watch, staying out all hours, and arriving to work refreshed and excited when I felt stressed and perpetually exhausted.

There it is. There’s that jelly, Col. It’s such a dynamic situation. I commented on it before, but he both adores and resents her for various reasons. He is ate up that she isn’t as bitter as him, but also, he is jealous because he has this repressed thing for her. I understand it Col, but your pushing this girls buttons makes me want to punch yours.

Quote :

Her tone was so careful, it almost didn’t sound like bait.

LOL! I love so much that he makes this comment. Yes, yes it is certainly bait. She’s a woman. It’s bait for sure, but also, she’s a genuine human being who wants to understand your dynamic, confusing feelings toward her. Okay, Col? Also, she’s sitting straight up, so you know that she’s playing some kind of game here.

Quote :

“You wouldn't need to,” she quipped, her tone finally betraying how she must have felt.

Fuck. I didn’t even think of this until she said it. She’s right tho. Stop being such a bitch to her.

Quote :

I just used glow for sustenance and healing. But still—what made her so vain?

“Then maybe you don’t need to look like that,” I retorted, frustrated at our conversation. I didn’t need this now.

While he raises a good point, fuck off with that, Col! Maybe you don’t need to be such a fucking hypocrite? Did we not just finish talking about how you don’t have to seek out and harvest from unsuspecting victims? That you’re privileged in your spot as Henry’s muscle? No? I think we did. I can forgive you tho, because I know this also comes from a place of jealously. I know you like this girl, and hopefully you wake the fuck up soon and see it too. Psst, I know it takes you a long time and I forgive you for that too.

Quote :

“Maybe I shouldn’t,” she snapped back at me, standing. I looked up to see her eyes watering through her anger. “But you never seem to have an issue with it when your dick’s in my mouth.”

Uh hmm. To be fair, to be totally fair, Mir, he likely wouldn’t care what anyone looked like who had his dick in their mouth. With that being said, sick burn. Unexpected from her, but a good kind of surprise for her to quip back at him in such a manner. He fully deserves it, of course. Call out his hypocrisy, Girl. I’m here for it.

Quote :

I rolled my eyes. It was so wasteful to use glow for cosmetic alteration. Hell, Henry’s whole operation was conceived and executed on his desperation for regular, extravagant transfers to be the man he felt he should be.

I guess I was lucky to not be wrapped up in that; no vanity to dictate my every move. I didn’t have to date skeevy men for guilt-free harvests, nor attach to a machine daily to keep from aging. I didn’t have to fight the natural way of things. All-in-all, I had it okay.

This moment of clarity <3 See Col, not everything is horrible. He keeps calling it a curse, but really, it’s a curse for people like Mir and Henry. Whether or not we factor in they got to chose this fate is neither here nor there lol, but it’s nice for him to admit that he isn’t as downtrodden as he acts most of the time. It’s nice that he can feel sympathy for Mir, but why does it have to come after he just unloaded his insecurities on her? Geez, this boy.

Quote :

until finally, after decades together, when her own struggle with vanity caused her to question why she aged while I didn’t seem to. Only then had she ever questioned me, and only then did I tell her the truth of who I was.

Quote :

until finally, after decades together, when her own struggle with vanity caused her to question why she aged while I didn’t seem to. Only then had she ever questioned me, and only then did I tell her the truth of who I was.

I can’t begin to describe the sorrowful beauty in the first line. Ugh, why did you have to remind us that Sophie is around, and not just that, but that she is deteriorating in the face of these demons walking around harvesting and staying young and beautiful forever! Why, why did you do that?! Then, she just fucking accepts it like the angel she is. She is so perfect, just like Mir, but she’s also untouchable. Mir is no replacement for her for she can never be replaced, and goddamnit does it hurt that she has to go.

Quote :

When I began to lose Sophie, I had Lily, always reliable when I needed an emotionless conversation. She never got caught up in tone or slights like Miriam. She was never greedy or control-driven like Henry. She was relaxed, deliberate, and powerful, with or without the validation of others. I had admired her for it.

Every time you mention Lily I get so happy. I love that she is being stapled into every chapter because she is actually a huge part in this story. I love how he compares her to what he had/what he has now. She is also such a loveable character despite her foul mouth and flaws. Drawing back to her again and again keeps her relevant, and will make it that much better when she does finally come to the front of the stage. We love you, Lily.

Quote :

Now who did I have? Henry? Miriam? The nurses that think I am their patient’s grandchild? I had gotten too sucked into having relationships. I was better off before, when I stayed in the shadows until I was summoned. I had just forgotten. The grass is always greener.

He makes it sound horrible, when in reality, he would be much worse off if not for these people . . . save Henry. Though, I wonder how he might have thrived or not without people. It’s a nice question to raise, an interesting scenario to conjure, but still, he’s wrong.

Quote :

Guilt knotted my stomach, my write up of the report still weak and incomplete.

He would say this. I love how she seems to do this just to spite him and play into his obvious insecurity in her wake. He deserves it.

Quote :

“It’s just that he’s defaulted on a debt. I guess now we know why,” I managed a chuckle before realizing the matter probably wasn’t funny to the debtor’s surviving daughter. I stopped myself and we sat in silence.

I’m chuckling with you Col. I really feel horrible for you in this situation, and while you are setting the scene with so much tension, even at this point in the story, we know this isn’t Col. He isn’t this guy. We KNOW Henry is, but we KNOW Col is not. We know this is going to become a conflict in the story. But seriously, LOL. I feel for him, but I’m laughing at his inability to crack an appropriate joke here.

Quote :

I tried to force myself to size up the teen, my next supposed mark, but I kept getting caught in her naïve eyes. Something about her made her feel so familiar. Perhaps I had encountered a relative of hers once. Maybe even her father. Perhaps she just reminded me of what it was like to be human, vulnerable and too-reliant on others for survival.

We know why, but you don’t. Sorry, Col. That’s the way it’s got to be. I love how he rationalizes it as her just being human, that’s a perfect way to throw off the reader after leading with him feeling like she’s familiar. Also, I have to comment on the horrid fact that he has to visualize harvesting from her, and 30 years none the less. That is just, heart-wrenching. I know he won’t, but damn, is it scary af to imagine that he would feel compelled to do so. He’s better than that, thankfully.

Quote :

I got up suddenly and rushed through the house, desperately rifling through her drawers and cabinets. If I could find something of value, anything, maybe I could avoid this all together.

Is this new? I don’t remember it, although, I could be wrong. This shows us what we already know about Col, that he wouldn’t be as depraved as Henry. That he has a heart that we can and have sympathized with at this point. Showing how desperate he is to find a way out of this situation helps us lean further into sympathizing with him. I appreciate that, and if it’s an addition, it’s a damn good one. If it’s not, I just didn’t remember, and you can take everything I’ve said here and apply it to before lol.

Quote :

I left without looking back, the screen door clattering loudly behind me. Regardless of the rules, I wasn’t collecting from this kid.

Love this detail. I can hear it. I can fucking hear it. It’s like the sound of his desperation projected onto a screen door. I love that.

Fucking Col. I love to love him and also love to want to smack his face. I do appreciate how this time around, I can better sympathize with his character. You’ve done a great job clearing that path for the reader with all the talk of Sophie. I can better understand how he feels, why he feels the way he feels, and why he treats Mir the way he does. And I know Mir knows there’s more to his behavior, and she’s such an angel that she can look over it. I just love the way you’ve fleshed his character because I really want to love him, and I always have, but this time around, it’s easier though I still want to punch his face in.

Also, I’m so in love with the beginning scene. I’m sweating still. They were so hot in that.

Love, BF