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 Eighteen

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Scottie Elisabeth
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PostSubject: Eighteen    Fri Feb 03, 2017 6:25 pm

Returning to Miriam was serene, almost cinematic, and this time, she met me on the stairs, too relieved from my presence to wait for me at her door. Her movements were fluid as she assessed my existence with her hands, eyeing me carefully before pulling me into a loving hug. Miriam didn’t question me or my motives or why I needed to speak with Charlotte. She didn’t hold it against me for needing answer to the questions she didn’t have. She didn’t know my past or have the ability to throw it back at me. Miriam was perfect. Miriam was beautiful. Miriam was everything Charlotte wasn’t and could never be.

“It’s so late,” she complained when we finally found our way through her door. “What took you so long?”

“I told you exactly where I was going,” I reminded her gently, and when she took a deep breath, I wrapped my arms around her. “Why were you so worried?”

“She’s fucking crazy, Collin,” Miriam breathed into my chest then, accepting my embrace. “I don’t know what her plan is, or what she wants from you. I’m afraid every time I leave you with her, I won’t see you again.”

“Oh, come on,” I teased, guiding her toward her hall as we remained entangled. “You’re being dramatic.”

Though I tried to play it off, Miriam was clearly distressed, and her concern was clear in her hold. “You’re such a jackass.”

“You’re such a babysitter.” My lips found hers as I pressed her against the window. It was invigorating being locked with Miriam as the moon stared through the window at us. Sad Miriam was too difficult to bear. I needed her to shift gears, into competing with Charlotte rather than fearing her. I would much rather her jealous than upset, but I didn’t know which words to choose to goad her.

“That note, Collin,” she started again, fresh concern in her voice as she tilted her head from me. “Seriously, we need to figure out why they’re targeting you. What does Charlotte want from you?”

“I don’t care right now,” I insisted, wishing her back to the present. “Right now it’s just you, me, and the moon. I don’t care about anything else.”

“I care,” she breathed against my lips, making me swallow as her hands trailed down my back. “So I need you to care too.” It was annoying how effortlessly convincing she could be. I even knew I was being played and yet I released her all the same, my attention wherever she asked it to be.

“What did it say, then?” I half-complained, my hands missing her hips the moment I released her.

Miriam pushed past me to the coffee table, where a new binder sat. It was flipped open to a specific page, the page I assumed Miriam had wanted me to see. It was undated, but the handwriting and signature looked as Henry’s always had. The note was brief, just a statement that if Henry was found dead, no matter how natural it seemed, it was my doing. It was worded cordially and included a hint of panic that I’m sure a paramedic or law enforcement would have chomped the bit for. Fucking Henry. Even in death, he was trying to fuck me over.

“I didn’t,” I insisted, my eyes flicking uncertainly to Miriam. Surely she knew, but then, lots of things seemed to be pointing to me being untrustworthy lately.

“You were with me,” she reminded me. “I know you didn’t.”

“Why did he leave this?” I stood from the couch. Miriam reached for my hand and I was grateful to feel her again.

“Collin, I don’t know what’s going on, but clearly you were meant to take the fall and Henry didn’t seem to have a problem with that.”

I moved to hug her again, grateful when she allowed it again so soon. “I’ve always just done my fucking job,” I complained into her ear and Miriam’s arms tightened again around me. “I don’t know what I did to him.”

“He’s weak,” she consoled, her hand moving to stroke my hair. “He’s not strong enough to be his own person. He never has been. He’s always been someone’s pawn, and now we know whose.” Miriam’s lips teased my ear then as she pressed her cheek to mine. “He’s not like you. He acts for himself. He acts without reason. He’s so greedy and so selfish, Collin, but you aren’t, not truly, and you’re trying to attribute reason to the actions of a man acting in his own best interest.”

“I’m so glad you trust me,” I professed honestly, nearly lifting Miriam as I squeezed her against me.

She smiled as she pulled her face away from me, but quickly returned to press her forehead to mine. She pecked my lips gently before her eyes pierced mine. “You’re all I’ve got now, Collin.”

“You’re all I have too,” I reminded her and I begged her to feel all the love I felt for her in that moment. “And I don’t even mind.”

Miriam blushed but didn’t pull from me. Instead, she moved her arms to lace around my neck, her breath hot on my lips. “Collin…” Her eyes held an insecurity I didn’t understand. She peered into my eyes, into my soul, and didn’t shy away from me or my faults or my past. She was beautiful and selfless, my sweet Miriam, and I would have been satisfied with an eternity of nothing but her.

“I love you,” I blurted. Miriam immediately looked taken aback and as soon as the words left my lips, I regretted not swallowing them, but there they were, like uncomfortable cardboard shoved between us.

Miriam hesitated but only momentarily. She immediately kissed me, her hands franticly fumbling with my clothes as she committed to the moment and I couldn’t think of anything else. I matched her fervor, stopping only long enough to pull her to her room, where her unassuming bed allowed us entry without judgment.

The rest was a lust-filled blur. I don’t think I took another breath until we were finished, panting as we lay side by side, Miriam’s grip on my hand nearly unbearable. She was more exhausted than I, having been enraptured by the sudden lust so vehemently, and now she struggled to regain her footing in reality.

Suddenly she was atop me again, straddling my stomach as she perched above me. Her eyes, suddenly serious, bore into mine. It was both captivating and intimidating, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her hands pinned my wrists above my head and for a moment, I wondered if she wasn’t preparing to devour me. Her look was like none I had ever seen from anyone.

“I trust you,” she started again, as if our conversation hadn’t been interrupted. “But I swear, Collin, if you let me down, I will never forgive you.”

“I would never,” I professed as my hands found the confidence to resist her grasp and move to rest on her hips. I needed to touch her. I needed to feel her.

“If it turns out you’re involved with this,” she continued, as if this was something she was struggling with herself. “You’ll never, ever see me again.”

“I promise,” I again professed, prepared to say anything to make her keep looking at me as she currently did. I fed off of the energy her attention seemed to give me. I could never betray her, my sweet Miriam, and the thought made me uncomfortable where I lay beneath her.

“Do you?” she asked as she slid further down my body, reengaging with me.

For a moment, I resented her need to use my dick as a polygraph, but my resentment succumbed to admiration as I felt her pull reengage with mine. “I promise,” I repeated, and my eyes drunkenly closed as I lost myself in her.

Miriam’s lips returned to mine but she refused to break from me. Instead, her symphony resumed, and there were no words.


To my surprise, I woke up to the sun fighting through Miriam’s curtains, the beautiful succubus still at my side. She had pulled the blankets to her neck and curled beneath them. Only her back still touched my side as I lay facing upward, sprawled over the majority of the bed. My eyes blinked as I adjusted to the new brightness.

I was reluctant to leave Miriam’s sheets but reluctant as well to stay. I felt uncertain, here with her, as opposed to my usual relegation to the couch. The moment I moved though, Miriam was awake, and before I could even sit up, her arms were laced around me as she nuzzled her cheek against my shoulder with her eyes closed.

She was beautiful, sweet Miriam, especially in the morning light. Her figure was sultry and unassuming as it lay next to me and had I not already been privy to the information, I wouldn’t know the acts that led us to this position now. She just looked so angelic. So pure. Her sleeping face held no sign of the drama unfolding around us. Just looking at her now, she didn’t have a care in the world, and I so loved her for it.

I tried to think of a time I had ever viewed my wife in such a way, or at all, really. Though I was so like Miriam’s husband, I couldn’t imagine seeing her in any other light than I did now, in this instant. She was everything I wanted and more.

Miriam yawned but didn’t otherwise stir and I watched her lips reconnect as she resumed her sleep. I longed for our setting to fade away, to find myself in an eternity of nothing but Miriam, but almost mockingly, my phone vibrated on the floor, a reminder that there were so many things that needed my attention in this moment alone.

Though I considered ignoring it to bask in Miriam’s comfort, I eventually leaned over to recover my phone from where they lay in my denims from this morning. Miriam stirred then, staying as close to me as she could, even as she took my spot just to still be in contact with me as my torso stretched to the floor. Her lips pressed between my shoulder blades and trailed down my back before coming at a rest midway and returning, her final kiss landing on the back of my neck.

“Who is it?” she asked lightly, as if our waking up together was routine, as if we had a normal life outside of all of this and this was just my boss asking if I could have the Jenkins account updated by three instead of five.

My eyes found the screen in time to see the Unknown Caller disappear from my screen. Uneasy, I sat up. No one outside of our community had my phone number. I didn’t get telemarketers or misdials. When the voicemail notification appeared, my stomach sank, though I couldn’t explain exactly why.

“Collin?” Miriam asked a bit firmer then, as if she thought I didn’t hear her before. I did, though, and it didn’t matter. Still, I leaned back into the bed, phone in hand, grateful when Miriam shifted to let me return to my previous position. “What’s the matter?” she asked as her sleepy eyes struggled to analyze my face.

“Someone called me,” I managed, unsure what was so devastating about the encounter. “Unknown Caller.”

“Okay?” Miriam mocked then as she resumed her position in my arms. “Big deal.”

“They left a voicemail.”

She scoffed a laugh then and I knew she was rolling her eyes. “Then listen to it?”

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know the dread I felt upon seeing the words I always saw when I was in trouble or was being transferred. Did the others know what Henry’s note said? Did they know about Henry at all? Was I about to be crucified for Charlotte and Stewart’s doings?

My heart pounded in my chest as I dialed my voicemail, pressing the familiar pin when prompted. After what seemed like an eternity of the automated telling of the exact details of what number, what time, and what millisecond the voicemail was left, finally, the message began to play. I could barely understand it, my heart thudding in my ears as I feared the worst, but finally I made out a word: funeral.

I was finally able to breathe again. I replayed the message, this time able to listen with ease, as a stranger’s voice relayed funeral arrangements I hadn’t made. Tomorrow. It was to be tomorrow.

When I finally hung up, Miriam was upright next to me, no longer comfortable lying down. “Well?” she asked half-heartedly as she rose from the bed and began dressing. I remained but was immediately engulfed with watching her, every stride and movement as beautiful and fluid as she was at her most intimate.

“They’re burying Sophie tomorrow.”

The corner of Miriam’s mouth twitched with the news, but her expression settled as concerned, her eyes soft as they analyzed me. “Are you okay?”

My eyes focused on Miriam again, stood wearing nearly nothing, too concerned with me to be embarrassed or self-conscious. She was so beautiful. I was so grateful. “Yeah,” I managed, and for the moment, I believed it. “But I need to go home today. I need to see if there’s anything she needs.”

Miriam nodded as she continued dressing, apparently convinced with my answer, despite how absurd it sounded. “Good idea. Whenever you’re ready.”


As Miriam helped me pour over long-abandoned boxes in the hallway closet of Sophie’s home, it again felt like we were a normal couple living a normal life, seeking out long-lost items for the deceased that we loved.

“What about this?” she asked gingerly, holding a dusty picture frame in her hands.

I glanced at the picture without truly looking at it. I remembered the scene in an instant and immediately averted my eyes. “Not that one,” I insisted, remembering how excited Sophie had been to find that portrait photographer, back before she owned a camera for every mood. It was too plain, to formal to encapsulate the Sophie I missed.

“You’re looking for one with a monkey,” I finally told her and Miriam’s brow immediately furrowed as she looked to me for confirmation.

“A monkey?”

I smirked, the trip as if it were yesterday. That absurd place we stayed in Europe had had eccentric hosts with a pet monkey and during our time there, it refused to engage with anyone but sweet Sophie. I had gone to take the picture, but she shooed me from the camera, instead passing it to someone else as she forced me into the photo with her. I could never forget the excruciating pain as the chimp sank its teeth into my shoulder, jealous at my proximity to Sophie, and the look of hilarity with only the slightest twinge of concern on her face in the instant the picture was taken. Of course, she was concerned, and she did feel sorry for it all in the end, but in that photo, you would never know that she hadn’t planned it all along.

I loved that photo. I hated that stupid chimp but I loved the way Sophie appreciated every moment of interaction with it. Even after the incident, when the hosts tried to corral the chimp and chastise me for startling their sweet baby, it wouldn’t leave Sophie’s side.

I wanted to share the memory with Miriam but it was too difficult now as the lump in my throat threatened to suffocate me.

When I finally laid eyes on it, my heart stung. Sophie was in her element in the novel scene, joy and only the least bit of concern in her eyes as she stood suspended in the moment with me. Miriam stopped rummaging as she eyed me.

“Can I see?” she asked cautiously and when I showed her, she immediately smiled, Sophie’s energy infectious even in a photograph. “Oh, Collin,” Miriam giggled, engrossed in the picture, before finally returning her attention to me. “You can’t use this one.”

“Why?”

“She’s so beautiful. Everything about this picture is about her.”

“So?” I found myself defensive, unsure what was wrong with the scene I loved so much.

“So, it’s a picture for you, not for her. She wouldn’t care about a picture that was about her.” Miriam stood then, returning the picture to me. “Do you mind if I go in her room?”

I shrugged, unable to follow Miriam’s logic, but she disappeared and reemerged from Sophie’s room quickly, as if she knew exactly what she was looking for. She stifled her smile as she held the frame to me. “Why not this one?”

When I accepted it, I understood. It was a photo of the two of us at one of her many get togethers. It wasn’t unlike the Polaroid of Peggy and Miriam, with Sophie behind me, arms wrapped lovingly around my shoulders as I looked at her. Unlike most of our pictures, I didn’t look to be annoyed to be included in this one. Instead, my eyes were on Sophie, though hers were to the camera. As she hugged me, she looked so full of love and admiration, and if you didn’t know any better, we could have passed for a couple in that instant of our lives.

“Yeah,” I breathed, the lump in my throat swelling. “This one.”

Miriam’s eyes welled as she observed me, and eventually, she hugged me, though I couldn’t focus on her now. My eyes were on my Sophie. I was grateful that Miriam had disagreed with me. I was grateful that she knew just where to look for the exact sort of picture she was looking for. Most of all, I was glad Miriam didn’t feel the need to compete with a ghost. If I didn’t know any better, I would think Miriam knew Sophie, and more than anything, I wished she did.


Last edited by Scottie Elisabeth on Sun Feb 05, 2017 2:13 am; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: Eighteen    Sat Feb 04, 2017 12:03 am

he didn’t hold it against me for needing answer to the questions she didn’t have. She didn’t know my past or have the ability to throw it back at me. Miriam was perfect. Miriam was beautiful. Miriam was everything Charlotte wasn’t and could never be.----Yes, yes she is exactly that. And you’d better fucking choose her. Don’t make me hurt you, Col. Because I was just starting to fall in love with you like for real.

----Is it just me, or do they keep meeting in the hallway? Laughing But they would, Mir is literally probably staring at the hall in wait.

“You’re such a babysitter.” My lips found hers as I pressed her against the window. It was invigorating being locked with Miriam as the moon stared through the window at us. Sad Miriam was too difficult to bear. I needed her to shift gears, into competing with Charlotte rather than fearing her. I would much rather her jealous than upset, but I didn’t know which words to choose to goad her.----Typical Col, but I have to admit to smiling at their name-calling. Cute.

“I don’t care right now,” I insisted, wishing her back to the present. “Right now it’s just you, me, and the moon. I don’t care about anything else.” ----Oh Col. You’re the worst/best. “Wishing her back to the present,” Fucking beautiful language. Love. Noted. Stolen.

“He’s not like you. He acts for himself. He acts without reason. He’s so greedy and so selfish, Collin, but you aren’t, not truly, and you’re trying to attribute reason to the actions of a man acting in his own best interest.”----Straight up lying to him. Laughing Well not really, but still. I know she said “not truly,” but come one. Col is all those things, just not to the degree Henry was. But she’s right, there is no reason behind Henry’s actions besides selfishness.

“I love you,” I blurted. Miriam immediately looked taken aback and as soon as the words left my lips, I regretted not swallowing them, but there they were, like uncomfortable cardboard shoved between us. ----He didn’t. He did. No, he didn’t? Omg. Collin. Have you ever actually loved someone in a completely selfless way? Wtf is Mir going to say? Omg.

----So she doesn’t say it back, yet she bangs his brains out. I’m okay with that. That’s response enough. Especially considering those words might actually mean something more to Miriam than they do to Collin. I don’t think she was quite prepared to say it. If there’s even a little doubt in her mind, I don’t think Miriam could say it. She loves to purely.

The rest was a lust-filled blur. I don’t think I took another breath until we were finished, panting as we lay side by side, Miriam’s grip on my hand nearly unbearable. She was more exhausted than I, having been enraptured by the sudden lust so vehemently, and now she struggled to regain her footing in reality.----<3 Beautifully done. Love.

For a moment, I resented her need to use my dick as a polygraph, but my resentment succumbed to admiration as I felt her pull reengage with mine. “I promise,” I repeated, and my eyes drunkenly closed as I lost myself in her.----Now this is an acceptable use of ‘dick’ in a chapter seven. Congrats. This one slides.

Miriam’s lips returned to mine but she refused to break from me. Instead, her symphony resumed, and there were no words.----Omfg God. Can I have this line? I’m stealing this line. Omg. I keep saying this, but best line ever! This is one of those that WOULD be quoted from the book. Wow. You totally said, “We continued to have sex, and it was so powerful that there were no words to describe it.” Yet you said it in such a poetic way. I’m super jell of this line. Just gonna pretend it’s not yours when I use it later. Okay? Theeeenks!

She was beautiful, sweet Miriam, especially in the morning light. Her figure was sultry and unassuming as it lay next to me and had I not already been privy to the information, I wouldn’t know the acts that led us to this position now. She just looked so angelic. So pure. Her sleeping face held no sign of the drama unfolding around us. Just looking at her now, she didn’t have a care in the world, and I so loved her for it. -----LUUUUOOOOVVUUUHHHH. Omg. Col, just quit. Just quit making my heart swell for her. Fucking stop it, now. I can’t go through losing her or any pain brought to her if you continue speaking of her in this romanticized way. STAHP!

I longed for our setting to fade away, to find myself in an eternity of nothing but Miriam, but almost mockingly, my phone vibrated on the floor, a reminder that there were so many things that needed my attention in this moment alone. ----I like this. I like how you broke his attention and mine away from such thoughts you could easily go on and on about.

“Who is it?” she asked lightly, as if our waking up together was routine, as if we had a normal life outside of all of this and this was just my boss asking if I could have the Jenkins account updated by three instead of five.----Damnnnnn, such a powerful line. That literally put me directly in my place just as it did him. Their interaction here is so normal, too normal for this situation. But it’s nice to imagine them normal, and it’s completely devastating to have that illusion shattered the moment it’s spoken. Love. Amazing. Love.

She scoffed a laugh then and I knew she was rolling her eyes. “Then listen to it?”----OMG MIR, DON’T YOU KNOW THAT HE DOESN’T GET RANDOM CALLS! YOU SHOULDN’T BE SO CONDESCENDING! COLLIN HAS THE RIGHT TO BE SCARED! DUH.

It wasn’t her fault. She didn’t know the dread I felt upon seeing the words I always saw when I was in trouble or was being transferred. Did the others know what Henry’s note said? Did they know about Henry at all? Was I about to be crucified for Charlotte and Stewart’s doings?----See, I’m totes positive it’s been brought up before, but here’s something I was missing before. He can totally be transferred, as he was in Charlotte’s case, right? I totally was skipping over this aspect in my head. I totes forgot there was the chance he’d have to go have a new life somewhere far away. And now I’m just as scared as he is. Wow. How did I miss this possible plot point? I’m a motard.

I was finally able to breathe again. I replayed the message, this time able to listen with ease, as a stranger’s voice relayed funeral arrangements I hadn’t made. Tomorrow. It was to be tomorrow.----Oh no, Sophie (sadface). I’d almost forgotten about her place in this story. Poor Col. This is totes not the time for that. Goddamn, I’m going to cry if you write about her funeral. On a side note, how strange is it that I’m okay with Collin having two loves? I guess because Sophie is an innocent kind of love, because he never really let himself love her the way he should. And Mir, well, I think we know how he loves her.

The corner of Miriam’s mouth twitched with the news, but her expression settled as concerned, her eyes soft as they analyzed me. “Are you okay?”----Fucking love.

I smirked, the trip as if it were yesterday. That absurd place we stayed in Europe had had eccentric hosts with a pet monkey and during our time there, it refused to engage with anyone but sweet Sophie. I had gone to take the picture, but she shooed me from the camera, instead passing it to someone else as she forced me into the photo with her. I could never forget the excruciating pain as the chimp sank its teeth into my shoulder, jealous at my proximity to Sophie, and the look of hilarity with only the slightest twinge of concern on her face in the instant the picture was taken. Of course, she was concerned, and she did feel sorry for it all in the end, but in that photo, you would never know that she hadn’t planned it all along.-----Forget the fucking goddamn funeral. Tears. There are tears right now. Gawl, I love so much how Miriam and Sophie can coexist in Col’s life. And I adore Sophie so much. She’s like a national treasure or some shit. She’s so perfect. And what a perfect little story behind a very vivid mental picture. It’s so apparent how well you know these characters. You know this is the type of situations they’d get into. You know this  would be Col’s flav picture, and you know exactly why. Love.

I wanted to share the memory with Miriam but it was too difficult now as the lump in my throat threatened to suffocate me.---Yes. Me too, Col. Me too. And beautiful, btw.

“Yeah,” I breathed, the lump in my throat swelling. “This one.”----I hate you so much right now. This whole chapter has been flawless. You’re so in your element here with Col/Mir/Sophie. But this put the most heartbreaking image in my head. And I knew exactly the look in his eyes, exactly the level of his voice, exactly how he was feeling her. And I wanted so bad to disagree with Miriam when she said the monkey picture wasn’t the best one. But I totes agreed with her at the end, because this >>>When I accepted it, I understood. It was a photo of the two of us at one of her many get togethers. It wasn’t unlike the Polaroid of Peggy and Miriam, with Sophie behind me, arms wrapped lovingly around my shoulders as I looked at her. Unlike most of our pictures, I didn’t look to be annoyed to be included in this one. Instead, my eyes were on Sophie, though hers were to the camera. As she hugged me, she looked so full of love and admiration, and if you didn’t know any better, we could have passed for a couple in that instant of our lives.>>>> Is probably one of the most stunning descriptions of anything ever. There isn’t a question in my mind what this photo looked like, or how they felt inside it. It’s so perfect. And goddamn, does it beat my scene with pictures to death. Wow, this was so cinematic. It was literally like seeing the most heartwrenching, tearjerking scene from this incredible movie your writing. Goddamn, I can’t describe my love for this. This is my favorite part. This short little scene where Mir is all no that’s not the right photo and to the end. That is the most heartbreaking thing you’ve ever written about Col and Sophie. And I’m so glad it included Mir. And I’m so glad you confirmed my love for their coexisting in Collin’s life there in the end. The ending is the best. What Collin says is lasting. I wish she’d known Sophie too. And I feel all of his grief with those words. So perfect. Love so much.



Love, Bf
!!!!!!!!11!!!!!

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