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“My Amelia, I’ve missed you terribly. Tonight is worth, to me, any consequences that may come of it.” -- Espionage
For all of Miriam’s beauty and natural poise, her severity was unmatched. -- Glow
PEOPLE VS. OUR CREATOR "We create our gods, not the other way around." -- Clockwork Horrorshow's Unjust -Injustice for All-
"You're dead, Julia." -- Quarantine
“I almost forgot which one you were, girr.” -- The Mannequin Diaries
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 Chapter Thirteen (Breakdown)

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Clockwork Horrorshow
Clockwork Horrorshow

Female Age : 26
Posts : 258
Location : Magnolia, Arkansas

PostSubject: Chapter Thirteen (Breakdown)   Fri Dec 23, 2016 1:44 am

-----I like the memory. But, I do not think the sudden shift in Julia's demeanor is warranted by it. With that said, I do think this shift could occur, but it's just not enough as is. I am not convinced. Everything is moving very fast, and strangely enough, everything is centered in Ben's apartment which gives it a very stagnant feel. I feel the things being revealed in this chapter are worth elaborating on, and I'm sure they are in the future chapters, but it's soooo much info in these last chapters. There is a very huge, sudden shift in the tone and theme of the story. Like I said, I know you are capable now of seeing and fixing this.

But I'm getting sleepy, and I did plan to finish the chapters tonight. So, forgive me for not. Josh wanted me to watch shit with him, and Suz got off early Sad I wasn't very extensive with this chapter, which is why I'm stopping for now. I don't want to jip you any further. I will probably go back and edit this review before continuing any further. I also need to write the summary. Hit me up tomorrow!

Love you.

Love, BF


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